I done some wrong again...maybe...althought i dun like what she said to me....but i know it was still my fault that i had made our friendship had an obstacle....cannot move on...duno why recently i seem to be so moody and easily angry by myself....maybe i just need to be alone...then i wont hurt anyone....
Last time we always have a nice chat and will sms freqeuntly...but recently we didnt did it again....and when she find me chatting...i found out myself like dun care about it...what actaully happened to me..i also duno why....
I promised to be ur ocean...unfortunately...i was just a polluted one...not clean anymore....no fish can live in a polluted sea...cuz they will die....they will try to move to a safety place...not like me....rubbish..oil....blood....acid....fungi...bacteria...all fill inside my heart...i can no longer be an ocean...cuz soon enough...i will dry...until i become a deep desert.......full of scorpion....
WHO!!!!!!!!!!?????????WHO can help me clean this messy things in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I wan to sound it out loudly so anybody can hear me....but people just keep throwing things into me....
What can i said was...."Fish...i am sorry last night for hurting you...and if can...just forgive me......I am sorry....."
A polluted ocean
It's All Coming Back To YOU Now
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we..
everything u wished last time has came back to you..this is not you hope since long long ago?why think so much?
human being..is the most complicated animal.i think.
i don't understand,because i don't know you well.=)or even you will say,you aren't me,you don't know so much about the things happen between both of you.maybe.*smile*
follow your heart,
from,
exian.
Disaster will arrive when u give too many
"Han..why recently u r so cold to me...?"she asked me....i am not cold to you..i know...i care about everything about you...but just duno why..i cant smile to you...in front of you..i only know how to cry...when i heard u asked me this...i also quite nervous...why i am becoming like that...is that any problem between us...i asked myself...definitely no...cuz......i still care about you.....
One night...u come to ask me...should we step forward or walk behind....i think i will answer the first answer..but..can you teach me how to do it?i really duno how to step forward with you together....i asked u back...then how about you?forward or backward?ur answer is the same as me....it was quite surprising for me...because i thought that u will said maintain the same and dun move...but in the end..ur answer is the same with me...anyway....i should thank you....that u still believe in me and giving me chance......
Actually....jun...always said to me...he had a lot of trouble with his gf...just because of she is not so care about you...and u expect many things from her....to you...last time i duno how to respond to jun...now i think i had found the answer...
Whenever u give too much to a person...the person will not appreciate it...and take it from granted....take it as a step in life...that no meaningful...example...u want to hear she said i love u every night to you....i keep asking myself...isit necessary...when it give too much...then that word is no more special....and now...i learn something....last time...without 1 day..i cant messages to her....i must...and when she didnt reply me...i will angry..pek cek....and keep asking myself why she dunwan reply me...and sometime i will lost control...then end up in disaster between ourself...we argue....nonstop...for reason....why...?i wondered....why i need to do like this...
Now....i also duno why suddenly i didnt felt anything when she didnt reply me message....i didnt wonder why she didnt find me at night and went to sleep without telling me....when she didnt find me...i will just find something else to do....and this time...i did it greatly as i can control myself....
1 day by 1 day...then.she sms me...asked..."recently u r busy?why never find me?"for the first time....i hear this word from her.....ad 1 and a half year i meet her....for the first time she did this...then i phone her of course...and i find that...we can chat happily....yeah...this is what i want.....perhaps....when i pull back a little....it will become more balance....i ad walk too fast...i should stop a while...let her to catch up......is time to rest.....i am lazy to chase anymore.......
What i can trust and believe now....is what she said last night........."I love you...."
Lemon Juice
Its quite a few days i contact with this girl...how would i like to describe her...she is pretty...cute...and most importantly...she has a strong characteristic...she is a spm student...when we start chatting......i can know that she is a talkative girl.....haha...like this also good...because i no need to brain storming to think a topic to chat with her...we always have a nice chat together......and she always come to find me....i duno why she will do that....as i am free also...we have a nice talk and some argument sometime......
1 day...she ask me what am i doing...i said to her i was writing a story...suprisingly...she said to me she also want to write a new story with me...i didnt stop her.....she really wrote it...and a very touch one...i was surprise to see her english was so difficult for me to understand...lol....she is good.....she ask me to give some comment ...i duno how to respond...as i also cannot write so good...her standard almost like the sc 1 kaki in our school whose essay always praise by Pn.Lam....i said it was a good essay.....then give her a big clap hand.....she was happy of course.....
our nice day goes on...without a day she wont find me...and i was quite nervous...until today morning.....it was a miserable for me.....she nudge me...then ask...are u there?...then sent me an essay again.....after that...she off 9......after reading the essay..maybe i had done something wrong.....seem like she wont find me anymore.........what have i done...why.....maybe the most WRONG step i have take is i give her my blog address....maybe she is thinking too much......
Duno why....now suddenly feel like crying......i had loss so many....i dunwan loss again.................
Lemon......i need you........
Numb
Recently this few days she always came to find me and keep sms me...i duno why she suddenly became like that...last time u said me irriating..now why u came back and find me...not only that....ur message to me were sweet sweet things....how come...i should be very happy to see your messages....but...this few days really made me think a lot....i have no feeling...when u see ur message with a lot thing that should make me happy...i didnt.....i just normal...and sometime i will feel like dunwan to reply ur message...this is the first time i think like that....really worst.....u ask me 1 question...whether seeing ur message happy or not..i was wondering...this question i ask u long time ago....and u told me...u have no feeling when seeing my message..no surprise at all....then i just keep quite...now..u ask me back this question....i duno how to answer you actually....but automatically...i reply ur message like a robot....YES..i am happy....am i lying to myself?..i duno and not sure....
Last night we keep smsing until late night....is a long time we didnt do like this....but is for the first time i felt tired when i sms with you...i lazy to think topic....and i lazy to type...but suddenly u said that u have trouble...haiz..no chioce..i have to phone you....ya...u always really understand about me...first hear my voice...u ad know i have trouble inside my heart...this is why i can love you so much because u know what i want and what i dun want..u undersatnd about me....i lie to her...and make myself happy...so she start saying her trouble...yes...i advise her...and she agreed...thats good...she always listen to me when she is in trouble.....then suddenly both of us stop...didnt said anything...she asked me...u are not happy isit...yes..again....she guess me correctly...i said to her my feelings...she just listen and didnt said anything...u always worry about me...but...unfortunately...i...become..so numb..........
For the first time..i can laugh with her with my tears rolling down..for the first time....i myself can be the first person to say goddbye and close the phone...for the first time...i really felt tired about you....NUMB is my feeling towards you.......
Result of Boring Life
Yesterday...nono..i think is 2 days before...i didnt find her and didnt sms her when i wan to sleep..i juz lie there and and fall asleep and i didnt expect anything from my phone....so the day pass by....tomorrow...oya...that day i spent my message on small fish..lol....she is funny and cute...especially when we talk about the thing she does for me was the most horrible thing in the world...LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but it is a secret so cannot tell u guys here..or not she will kill me....so yesterday she sms to me ask me whether got go work or not...cuz she bought a small doll for me....lol....so i went to CRC find her..small fish....she gave me the Ninja..lol....and talk about 4 sentences i thought..then she walked inside a room then chat with her friend ad...
Of coz i didnt said anything juz drove back home lo....then we sms again....until night i think....lol...so small fish teman me for the whole day..thanks..really thanks...or not i will dead ad...haha....
At night.."she" sent me a message..she said gdnite...so i am thinking whether wan phone her or not as i did not contact her last night...she everytime also will say gdnite to me but last night didnt...maybe she aspect me to go finf her gua...i think so....i decide to phone....YES!!!!!!!!she did want me phone her...as she was boring also....haha.....she was so happy when i call her....talk talk talk..nonostop......altthought not because of me calling her..is juz someone can teman her only....but i juz like it .......nvm....ya i am stupid to do so as it will not turn to anything...^^...but i am still happy......
Anyway...Jay Chou NEW SONGS released ad...so nice a few of them....u all shall take a good look at them....
