After the Saturday exam..i came back home...actually i duno how to explain my feelings....yeah...back home is good..because home give me sweet memories...however..whenever i saw the fruits opposite my house...i start to feel like going back to kampar....i dun like to sell fruits ...the main reason is i dunwan woke up early in the morning....sien....
The day before my last exam...i cried....she answered my phone...when i heard her sound...i cried...how long had i wait....i was so miss her...but for her situation....all did not went into her mind as she didnt even care about me....for her..i am just a stranger...or more terrible...i am annoying to her...she said i am a bit overreacted and i am irritating...yeah...finally...she said that word...irritating....what i should do...i am irritating to her....how much have i done.....but she didnt look at me once a time...i am a clown beside her.....
Well....maybe i should give up now....no point right?Beside..she said she wont come to study at here ad...so....chance for me is lesser now...or i can said that even zero....i not suitable for you maybe...everyday i hoped that i can receive ur message and i hope that u can give me a call....i like last time you always care about me and think about me...maybe i done too much and made me no more special for you ad.....i am juz an alarm clock that will call you everyday in a certain time....i called you can more than hundred time...but what is ur feeling when you receive my call?Happy?Annoying?Or no feeling at all?i never think about it as i just do what i want to do.....now only i know that i am irritating guy....haha...wat a jerk......
I cannot forget you...i wont forget you....i love you...really...first time i had that feeling....only u can give me that feeling.....but u grab it away...i become so numb.....i work so hard just try to make you happy....but you never smiled to me....u always asked me....y i never give up....why u asked me this question...as u know the answer only have one....."I Love YOU..........."
Time pass by..i still need to continue my life....without you....
Back home
20th September 2008
Today is my last revision day for my last exam : Mathematic...begin from the early morning....i did my mathematic past years questions...and asked some questions to Chee Yan..maybe he is too boring today...so teach me well today..haha....so happy can settle it within an hour time....
then i continue to do the questions and i find that i can do it well..so need to relax a bit...then i go play sdo-x...haha...get many times as a winner...so proud of it....then come my cutie sister on9 liao lor...she is my sdo sis...haha..so cute and pretty...always make me happy....we played together and have a lot of fun there...thank you for making me so happy Renia^^....
Besides....the girl i haven contact for a long time...today come ask me whether i had deleted her msn account....i was quite surprised that she will come find me....yeah..i admit to her and said to her my reason...and i say..."I am sorry..."...at first i thought she would not forgive me...however..things like going smoothly towards me this day...she forgive me....then i asked her..."Can i be ur friend again..?"She said :"No....because we already a friend...."haha...thanks.....really thanks....i really don't want to loss anybody else again....i need you all....and i love you all....
Tomorrow is my exam already....i have to do my best.....God...please bless me....and thank you for giving luck to me today.....really thank you...i would learn from mistake....
Physic Story,2
Yeah!!Physic over already! This day morning was the most terrible morning for me as i automatically woke up myself at 730am which was consider early for me as last whole week i woke up at 930am something....gosh..i cannot sleep well last night and i dream something terrible happen to me during the exam time...
Last night....Physic Pro...Chee Yan Sang~~~suddenly came in my room and borrow my book to study..wow..this was amazing as i had a long time didn't saw him hand on a book...weird....he lie on my bed and look at the chapters that he don't know well and take a good look at it..then he start mumbling and do some calculation himself....the most important part in this i figured that i don't know MANY things from his mouth!!!!!!!!!!!damn..quickly i opened my lecture slide and some notes i had made and start looking at it......damn..so many i still not yet remember....put all my sight in the books...i start to memory what he had mention to me....
Suddenly he asked me that whether i had the answer sheet for the past years exam questions...of course i don't have it...by the way..i still opened the past year exam papers and took a look at it...hmmm...some of the questions i saw and i was jam at there as i don't know how to answer them...so cbyan~~~ and me search the answer and he explain some of it to me....(actually he don't like to teach me...he always want me to find the answer myself...don't know why...)
Until this morning....when i looked at the paper..i found that most of the questions were the same as the last night questions...i was a bit relax...because first time i did my physic in Utar i did not jam and can continue work at it....although not 100% correct..but i believed that i can get the steps marks as i 100% believed that my steps are correct.....so....i passed up my papers....
My friends and I met at a place and we start discussing some of the questions...i was shocked when many of them said that the paper was quite hard and said will die liao...=.=...gosh....
i remembered last time the English mid term test...all of them also said very hard...but only i said is easy..in the end...my marks was the lowest..damn!!!!!!!!!i was scared that this time the physic test will be the same too....i don't want this to be happen....God..please bless me that i can score well in that paper as that one is my last hope to pull my marks back.....
Now...its over already...i had to focus on the CHEMISTRY now...which was another nightmare for me....
Physic Story
Tuesday...is my "lovely"physic test...lovely in this case was a miserable for me...i looked back all the previous chapters...gosh...i had so many damn long formula to memory...i wrote them down in a few sheets of white papers...at first..i plan to write about 3 pages i think....in the end..i need total of 8 papers!!!!!!!What the hell...i need 8 papers to write down all the formula of physic!Walao!!!HEADACHE!
Besides this, what most terrific me was the questions in tutorial or even the past year examination papers....they require some formula that do not appear in the lecture note!!!!!!!!!shit!!!!!!!i waste almost 45 minutes to answer a simply question!!!!!!my mid term exam did not score very well...so sometimes i also very scare to even pass....First time in my life...i actually aim for pass...gosh...i don't know what happen to me....sometimes i already studied very hard..but still i cannot apply the solution in the problem...i was blur and feel so depress........
tomorrow is my exam already...God...please bless me that i can score well....i already done my part...now it all depend on You to give me the luck and strength...Amen~~....
Exam Fever
Today my computer studies examination over already...so nice....but sad..because the tips we studied didnt even come out 20% of it...fu**..waste so many time on it but in the end get nothing...
It was like this... this Monday...we have our economics examination..so my friend Lip Kong Fai...sent me a tips in notepad...then i open to see it...got accountancy...econs...sociology..and computer studies...so i just briefly see through the tips of econs only....but some of it of course will stick into my mind...okay...during the exam of econs...i was shocked that all the tips given by my friend all 100% the same!!!!!!!!!!shit!!!!!!!!a bit regret that i didnt focus too much in it..but still...i can manage to do well...of course not 100% correct....so i guess that the tips for computer studies will be the same like econs...100% correct then my marks will be boom!!!!!!!!!!wakakakaka!!!!!!!!!!so almost all the foundation students focus their computer studies in the tips only..of course...we still have studied the other part of it...but didnt focus too much lor...if compare to the tips...we wrote down the points and elaboration...boom our brain until wan burst to find a perfect answer for the tips...yeah....we did it in time and we all hope that the tips will be 100% come out in the exam time....
230pm in this day...i went into the examination room and quickly opened the exam paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"What is Window XP?"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this question i didnt even see in the tips note......damn shit...i felt very cold at that time and i scare i cannot answer the question well....shocking there..lol....however..still have to do it...haiz....put my head deep inside a shit hole then i squeesssssss dry my brain to come out with a logical answer to some of the questions that i not really know...and the stupid room don't know have wat type air condition ....damn cool man........
what the worst thing was...the indian girl beside me started to sleep when half an hour passed away...damn shit...isit so easy?or she already give up????wat the hell is going on..........
finally....i walked put from the room....looked back...i didnt perform very badly actually...but for scoring A....hmm...maybe it just too hard to get it....lame...=.=....
Loneliness
Yeah...finally today examination of economics overred ad...so fun...then i slowly cycled back to 1476...then only figure that some of the questions i done wrongly already..but never mind..because the most trouble me one was the sciences subjects....haiz......always headache about it......
Same like always..whenever some obstacles over already..i must play some game..lol..dota of course....then suddenly qi sian and chee yan asked me whether i want go to pasar malam or not...to buy some food...i lazy cycle already..so i said no and asked them to help me buy a burger....during that period.......damn......the whole house seem like left only me.....i lie on the bed....so boring...sent messages to almost 6 people only 1 people replied......gosh........i was rejected by all bodies......=.=...........
Daily life without an important person to me was very boring...nobody to share..nobody to laugh...nobody to chat...nobody to quarrel....maybe she was too busy...or maybe she don't even care about me...now only i think about home...yeah..home..a place where at least 2 persons there will care about me....mum and daddy.....although sometimes they really irritating and always talked about the same things...but the sentences spoke by them was the most helpful in the end......i mean if compare to all the advise and opinions given by my friends or teacher...or even outsiders.....at first i don't really believe and listen to what my parents said....but in the end i always have to admit that what they said was all true and it was the fact....
shit....first time...i really think about home....arhhhhhh....life is so boring to me now......its been a long time that i can see a message and laugh myself....and siok sendiri....furthermore...recently i also don't know what happen to my attitude..and made one friends become an outsider already..no more chating and smsing liao....i deleted her msn also....because i knew that cannot save the relationship now....all i have to said...is "I am sorry...".......
Lonely...Mr.lonely...i Have nobody.....gosh...
The Lyrics Of My life
The journey will be like a set of poker card
I hope it will not end into the mud
But i knew it will be hard
Love is really never easy
It will always keeps you busy
sometimes it may seem crazy
but at the end it is all worthy
I thought so that way
It began on the 8th of May
but ended in dismay
I have no choice but to pray
Distance is the biggest obstacle
It kept us further from the love oracle
I knew there will be no more miracle
to bring us back to that love vehicle
I hope love will not really suck
but just a plenty of question mark
initially it may be very hard
but it will not end up getting FxxK
Examination Coming Soon
Thursday,Friday and Saturday were so amazing to me...most people will studied hard during this few days as the exam will be start at the next Monday...perhaps i will do it so..but unfortunately the things just cannot get into my mind when i look at them...i give up...start to on my O2Mania and insanely click on the a,s,d,j,k,l,and space bar button...lol...then open Warcraft III and played it without knowing that time had gone so fast....and then when i wan studied..me eyes pained like hell ..maybe watch too much the blur blur button of the O2Jam liao....=.=sad...cannot studied..then go lie on the bed and start dreaming....arhhhhhh.....i know its was wasting time but i just cannot concentrate....fu**....
Most amazingly...chee yan...until now he still never touch a book...but i believe that he still can score well in the exam..don know why he was just like that...have talent maybe..we studied so hard but the mark cannot be the same like him who never studied but only listened at class...=.=..lame shit....but have to accept the truth that i am the kind of person that must put some effort and then only can manage well in exam..but not score well..=.=..still sad....haiz........
Another guy...qi sian..always RO...until he also wan siao ad...today i know that he played RO until 600am then only he went sleep..wth....like this also can...like my pal...Liew Wei Jong last time played the Maple story...lol...morning was the time that they used it for resting and dreaming while others people started working....that was their life style maybe...enjoyed it...lol..
Yeah..this was 1476 life style....and my roommate...studied until he also don know what to study now..so geng...for me..i was blur about everything.....that the different between a successful and well planning man and a wondering and confuse about everything person..me....shit!!!!!!!!!!!
hey hey hey!!!
hey guys,it has been ages never heard from you all.how is everyone?busy with you own pathway?lolx
ok,let me tell you my part.
Form six life is hectic and sometimes i am really headache with it when i cant do my part well.just liked the Graduation Night which hold on 18th of august.committees have to start preparing the programmes,write letters to get the permission and etc.we encountered a lot of problems while preparing for the 3 hours activities.oops.is not ALOT is UNCOUNTABLE.everyday being busy in solving the problems.committees have to help each others to carry out the task.and throughout the whole process, as you all know i have low boiling point=easy to boil up my temper!lol=) so the process in preparing it,argument and objections are things that cant be hesitate to happen..i have learnt to behave high boiling point indeed.LOL.
throughout the whole process,i realise one mandrin phrase台上十分钟，台下十年工..seriously learn it.hahaha.there are bitter and happy moments that always in my mind and always be a precious experience in my journey life.
lantern day is around the corner.how are u all going to celebrate it?
ANYWAY WISH YOU ALL HAPPY LANTERN DAY IN ADVANCE OKIE?
take care!
exian
